I wrote here about this guy who impressed me with his determination to fight life’s unjust instances.
Crazy Rants of a VACTERL Dad is a blog belonging to someone who gave me a similar kind of encouragement to keep going on whatever the rubbish life’s throwing at us a little too often.
I cannot be interested in anything other than real things and the struggle with keeping faith in good times is a real thing. What about when a series of events occurs in a way that shatters your confidence to pieces. Where was God ? Is there a God? If He exists does He have anything to say about it? These are questions nobody with a healthy mind can avoid, questions which render useless the tiny little glimpses of happiness one can afford times to times.
People are often wrongly labelling others as agnostics or atheists or Christians even, when deep inside they now that people are people and labels are only used to keep a “healthy”distance between them.
I said recently in a conversation with a friend that I believe that the majority of Christians, most of the time are rather agnostics than believers. Going back to my obsession: confusion, limits, doubting, suffering, death, these are real things.
Faith is too often just a lid which temporarily covers life as it is.
Here are a few excerpts from one of the post from this blog:
“If I had to pick a moment, it would be sitting at the funeral of my friend Dennis. I had been struggling with my faith for months. My personal life was in shambles. My family was under tremendous stress and the church had disappointed me. I felt as though God had abandoned me. And at some moment point during the funeral, a thought was born. Were the hell was god?
I was called to serve God and others as an ordained minister.
I got as far as completing the candidacy process. And then life happened. A series of tragic events made me doubt my own faith. (insert a huge yada yada yada here)…
…And then Dennis. One of the most devout Christians I have ever known committed suicide. At his funeral I obsessed on one thought, where was God? If God could not be bothered to intervene in someone’s most desperate hour, what good was he? In my brain, a switch flipped. There is no god. Simple and succinct.
…And then today. It is the season of lent. When I was devout, this was my favorite time of year. But now, it was just another day at church. The pastor was preaching on Gethsemane. Most of it was standard Easter fare. But then he said one thing. When I heard it, I was immediately thunderstruck. Jesus’ most fervent prayer request was not granted.
I found myself crying uncontrollably. My faith has not miraculously been restored. But for the first time in a long time, I wanted to be wrong.”