Here I am with another fine piece for my collection of soul-searching stories which I am building up, in order to find the meaning of later in life. This life I hope.
This guy who kindly let people like me and everybody else to have a peek into his spiritual journey so far, has a rather interesting one. It took him from a conservative Christian to atheism and then somewhere in a strange place where not many people find themselves too often. Or do not admit it. They are probably still in denial. But enough of other people. Here are his own words extracted from here and there, as I said, with no special purpose as for the order in which they are presented:
It was a lot of soul-searching rather than researching, reading, or studying books, articles, etc. that led me to atheism. Once I became an atheist I did the researching, reading, and studying. But I got there on my own. Now that I am embarking on a similar search again, I have bought and read some books arguing God’s existence and/or the legitimacy of Christianity. But these books do not really seem to help a whole lot. I am instead finding that the time I spend alone just contemplating these issues is what helps the most. And I now feel that it is my soul-searching, rather than reading, studying, and researching (which I will still continue to do), that will lead me either back to God, or permanently away from him.
One nice idea here, an idea which was lurking in the darkness of my brain for some time: belief or faith is an issue for the soul-searchers rather than big-headed, strong and mentally (too) healthy people.
I learned in church that all non-Christians were miserable, having a hole in their souls, an emptiness that only Jesus could fill. Of course, it confused me when I met non-Christians that seemed even happier than any Christians I knew, but I let that slide. [On a side note, non-Christians included Catholics, Anglicans, United Church members, and almost all other protestants not attending our church]
Could he be more specific? I think not. Scientifically proven by countless (involuntary) experiments.
I find prayer offensive. Let me explain.
I believe people are abusing their ‘privilege’ to pray.
I honestly don’t entirely know what to make of my recent reversion to prayer. I am not a psychologist. Please, feel free to share your opinions down below. My guess is that because religion played such a large role in the first 19 years of my life, some habits are bound to be difficult to break and prayer is just one of them. I also still enjoy some of the Christian music I used to sing and listen to. They bring back good memories. Overall, being a Christian was not a bad experience for me. I just eventually grew out of it. Does that mean I can’t occasionally reminisce?
This is the cool place I was talking about at the beginning. A place that we shall see it more and more crowded in the not too distant future.
And this is an optimistic note on which I finish my indiscretion.
Thanks to the contributor: MHIGGS