One sign of maturity for somebody with a healthy obsession for spiritual things is the way he/she uses the word “but”.
There is the oppositional, ‘mine not yours’ but like in: “I hear what you are saying but the truth of the matter is…”
There is also the constructivist, value-adding but which comes in a real, soul-lifting, meeting of the minds, when this but comes into the gap left by one of the two so the other can fill in with his fraction of the truth.
You cannot find these two kinds of buts in their pure, unaltered state. Out there they mix, and fight, and the result is a complex dance of ideas; their clashes define and decide how long and healthy a relationship will be.
But, for the believer in good and eternal, I expect the ultimate but would be the one found at the other spectre of the scale, where you can hear him saying “not mine but yours”. It comes in the package with the life-giving, self-sacrifice spirit which, to me, is the pinnacle of a real, meaningful life.
But, what about such and such… (you fill the gap with real issues)
Give up the things you love for love
Love despite your mood
Take me as I am
Let me love you